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Bottlenecked 2:550:00/2:55
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This Precious Mess 3:170:00/3:17
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Amphibian 2:590:00/2:59
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Statues 3:160:00/3:16
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Nonessential 4:170:00/4:17
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Mess of Myself 3:070:00/3:07
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0:00/2:56
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Wouldn't It Be Great 3:580:00/3:58
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Little Black Bear 2:340:00/2:34
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0:00/3:28
WORDS
The Lost Season Session Vol. 4: Let It Burn
(2021)
I pull open the curtains
As the sunlight returns
I quickly go from sun starved
To completely sun burnt
It’s life as I don't know it
The world spins on me again
That first, fleeting touch hits me
I want to soak it all in
Let It Burn, let it burn
I want physical contact
I want to pull you closer
Blissfully unconscious
With false illusions of closure
It’s life as I don’t know it
Through every pore in my skin
The ultraviolet rays shine down
I want to soak them all in
Let it burn, let it burn
It’s life as I don’t know it
How long has it been?
It’s life as I don’t know it
I want to soak it all in
Let it Burn
Mess of Myself
I’m restless at the first flush of morning
It seems that dawn is still dark as hell
I’m up on time, trying to stand without a spine
What a fine mess I’ve made of myself
Is it too late for me to change the subject?
It’s no time for dropping a bombshell
It’s like I’m balancing on the end of a pin
What a fine mess I’ve made of myself
Everything has changed and nothing’s changed at all
I’m just a little more forgetful so I forget to call
I’m not asking but I sure could use some help
What a fine mess I’ve made of myself
I know it’s beyond too little, it’s beyond too late
I’ve got too many excuses and far too many plates
I got sucked in and spun out on this carousel
What a fine mess I’ve made of myself
I don’t mind you going but I hate you leaving
I’m just not that good at farewells
I used to love being alone now I hate being at home
What a fine mess I’ve made of myself
Hardened Tears
Tears, these hardened tears
To be ignored and forgotten, to be swallowed and lost in
These tears, these hardened tears
How many more? How many names?
How many bullets till someone stands up in the way for all
These tears, these hardened tears
Shocked, I’m shell-shocked
You can’t stomach the things you’ve seen in this daily routine of
Shock, this shell shock
No one is safe here, no one is immune
Time’s not a healer if time’s a bleeding wound
In shock, I’m shell shock
Bang bang, the dream is dead, the hardened tears, the bullets shed,
It all seems to fall on deaf ears
Bang bang, time again, it’s not if, just a matter when
Tears turn to bullets and bullets turn to tears
Tears turn to bullets and bullets turn to tears
You can’t make sense of the senseless or find faith to persevere
These tears, these hardened tears
Tick Tock, the clock is ticking, tick tock
It’s insane to do nothing and expect some sort change
The clock is ticking, tick tock
Is anybody listening? Is there anybody there?
Behind all the scripted words in the thoughtless thoughts and prayers
The clock is ticking, tick tock
Bang bang, the dream is dead, the hardened tears, the bullets shed,
It all seems to fall on deaf ears
Bang bang, time again, it’s not if, just a matter when
Tears turn to bullets and bullets turn to tears
Tears turn to bullets and bullets turn to tears
You can’t make sense of the senseless or find faith to persevere
These tears, these hardened tears
The Poison Tree
There’s evil in the roots
Evil in the hanging fruit
And all of the bad apples
Come falling down like shrapnel
You can’t escape gravity
It’s rotten to the core
And armed with a thousand thorns
The bough starts bend
And pushes down on your head
You’re buried under all the weeds
With the poison seeds from a poison tree
Poisoning you and me
Poison fruit from a poison root
Poisoning you and me
The poison tree
When it rots, it spreads
Cut off the dead ends
As the branches lunge towards us
Take a chainsaw to this forest
Start gnawing at the trunk with those teeth
Cause there’s poison seeds from a poison tree
Poisoning you and me
Poison fruit from a poison root
Poisoning you and me
The poison tree
These trees needs overturned
This orchard needs to burn
Tear it down leaf by leaf
A Cat Named Fiona
You came into this world kicking
And you’re savage right to this day
You’re bleak and you’re chic, tongue firmly in cheek,
About as subtle as a hurricane
You’re wrapped inside animal prints
There’s leopard skin on your shoes, rug and sofa
And you seem to thrive in all your nine lives
While raising Cain and a cat named Fiona
You’re not too fond, fond of the questions
You’ve tried on all, all of the answers
The truth never fits so you never wear it
But to you it never seems to matter
Cause you look good in all the lies
You still look good in all your personas
And you seem to thrive in all your nine lives
While raising Cain and a cat named Fiona
You never mention your little boy
But a mother’s not your kind of label
Maybe you could someday if the cat was away
But you’re not willing and he’s not Abel
And no one knows who you are now
Or that you moving back home to Minnesota
You struggle to get by and used up all your nine lives
While raising Cain and a cat named Fiona
Annie Oakley
Here comes Annie Oakley thinking she’s got something to prove
She’s blind, trigger happy and not so bulletproof
She’s walking on the edge, just look at her coming unglued
Facts are stubborn little things when you’re running from the truth
She’s got the red, white, and blues
You can see her colors in every bruise
Ole Miss Annie Oakley fired first and all hell broke loose
She headed out west with the bigots of the bigs
Going town to town colluding for the mad king
Rounding up stragglers who got lost in the stampede
To feed them all some new crazy conspiracy
Embroidered boots and buck shot Stetson
She’s all dressed up for an insurrection
Ole Miss Annie Oakley fired first and all hell broke loose
She’s no patriot; she’s just a Kool-aid queen
Who was shooting blind with a fascist flag in the street
The once fearless rough rider is now flashing regretful eyes
Now that she’s looking at ten years of fed time for peddling lies
She’s got the red, white, and blues
You can see her colors in every bruise
Ole Miss Annie Oakley fired first and all hell broke loose
Bindweeds
There's only a few flowers in this garden of weeds
There’s only a few flowers in this garden of weeds
These choking vines will rob you blind and steal all of your light
They wrap themselves around your roots and then drain you of life
There's only a few flowers in this garden of weeds
There’s only a few flowers in this garden of weeds
And every day it’s a struggle to be seen
The promise of a promised land lies in this blossomless bed
The broken dreams, the guillotines and all the severed heads
There's only a few flowers in this garden of weeds
There’s only a few flowers in this garden of weeds
And every day it’s a struggle to be seen
You twist and twine in the vines of the bindweeds
Little Black Bear
Little black bear, little black bear
Come down off that tree
Your mountain is now my property
You don't belong here, you’re trespassing
Little black bear, little black bear come down off that tree
Little black bear, little black bear
Stay off of my lawn
You’re not welcome here, you need to be gone
I really don't care that you've done nothing wrong
Little black bear, little black bear, stay off my lawn
Little black bear, little black bear
I feel harassed
You look at me strange, you make eye contact
Don’t care how pleasant you seem or how quickly you dash
Little black bear, little black bear, I feel harassed
Little black bear, little black bear
Get out of my street
This isn’t your home, I’m calling the police
I’m afraid of anything that doesn’t look like me
Little black bear, little black bear, get out of my street
Little black bear, little black bear
You’re coming down
You’re just a nuisance looking for a handout
I’m moving you out to the poor end of town
So little black bear, little black bear, you’re coming down
Nurse Without a Name
Her soothing presence made a grand entrance when she pulled back the curtain
A benevolent form that felt so warm and made me less uncertain
She dressed me down in a hospital gown and I happily nodded
When she explained that soon my veins would be flooded with Dilaudid
Come rip off the bandage, rip off the bandage, rip off the bandage and open the drains
As I lay and wait for the nurse without a name
She stopped back again on hour ten of a fourteen hour trick
And I barely flinched when I felt the pinch of her sweet warm gentle kiss
Come rip off the bandage, rip off the bandage, rip off the bandage and open the drains
As I lie and wait for the nurse without a name
When I’m feeling thirsty my angel of mercy makes a heavenly cocktail
That deadens the pain with a nice plain rain, she’s my Florence Nighintgale
Rip off the bandage, rip off the bandage, rip off the bandage and open the drains
As I lay and wait for the nurse without a name
The Last Longest Mile
I see tears the size of hubcaps rolling on down this endless road
From nowhere to nothing, all looking for somewhere to go
All rushing to get
To whatever’s next
But time just moves in one direction on this never-ending, last, longest mile
I’m talking so fast that I’m lagging behind my own breath
I’ve been silent too long, it feels so good to vent
And in vain I try
To make up for lost time
But time just moves in one direction on this never-ending, last longest mile
©2021
THE LOST SEASON SESSIONS Vol. 3: Waiting for the Cavalry
(2021)
Plastic figurines
All trying to stay afloat
Sinking debris
All trying to stay afloat
We desperately need help to stay above water
Could somebody throw a line this way and try to keep us afloat
The flailing of arms
Just trying to stay afloat
The waves crashing hard
Just trying to stay afloat
We desperately need help to stay above water
Could somebody throw a line this way and try to keep us afloat
911, S.O.S
We’re trying to stay afloat
Mayday, in distress
We’re trying to stay afloat
The Night Sky
This is going to leave one hell of a mark
A permanent bruise, a visible scar
The night sky will never be the same
Heartbreak you can’t swallow or reconcile
The stillness is raw and still volatile
The night sky will never be the same
Goodbyes you weren’t ready for and won’t get to say
Reality hits hard in the cold light of day
And the brightest stars just fade away
In the night sky
This is going to be one hell of a hangover
And I have no appetite to deal with this sober
The night sky will never be the same
Dead air hits the ground, it’s falling like rain
And keeps the sorrow that floats from floating away
The night sky will never be the same
When the phone starts ringing in the middle of the night
No one is ever calling to say they’re alright
The night sky will never be the same
Wouldn’t it be Great
I just don’t think that I’m that strong
But wouldn’t it be great if I were wrong?
I’m just a flower hanging on the wall
Looking for a glass of alcohol
So put a bookmark in, take two aspirin
And pick me up again tomorrow
I just don’t think that I belong
But wouldn’t it be great if I were wrong?
When you’re long on nouns and short on verbs
You lose your feet with every word
I can’t shake the doubt
Or find a word to shout
I can see that I am breathing in
But my thoughts are paralyzed
Please don’t throw doubt on me
If you’re giving me room to breathe
Then give me room here to breathe
I just don’t think that I’m that bold
But wouldn’t it be great if I were cold
You build me statues out of snow
When I reach my lowest low
Then you let the sunshine in
To see if I can swim
You know I’m afraid of the water
And I you think I won’t let go
Please don’t throw doubt on me
Room to Breathe
If I pull down the drapes and lay blame at my door
I’ll sit here in silence, face flushed to the floor
I know it won’t end well, I’ve seen all my endings before
I admit I’m afraid but afraid to admit
That I’m climbing the walls while I quietly sit
And inhale a silence that has no good air left in it, it’s stagnant
So I dream of a world that doesn’t exist, yet one I can plainly see
I crawl inside and take a deep breath; finally some room to breathe
I might not ever leave
I sit like an ember in a fire that’s died
A smoldering ash, the faintest of light
But it’s that last glimmer that keeps me alive tonight
Time to get moving while I still have some time
It’s the eve of destruction, or at least of mine
I may be burned-out but there’s still something burning inside, there’s a little light that says
Dream of a world that doesn’t exist, yet one you can plainly see
Crawl inside and take a deep breath, finally some room to breathe
I might not ever leave
I found a room to breathe
This War
No veil can hide
My dilated eyes
And all the tears I’ve cried
I can’t mask my rage
Can’t turn the other page
This war is has taken its toll on me
I’m just waiting here for the Calvary
A staring contest
With a full length mirror
I’m looking inferior
Nobody ever wins
You just start over again
This war is has taken its toll on me
I’m just waiting here for the Calvary
Look through my eyes
You can’t unsee what I’ve seen
It’s taken a toll on me
Bring on the Calvary
No Spring Skips Its Turn
Winter’s grip feels unrelenting at some point this has to end
All that’s cold and condescending will someday turn warm again
The wind still cuts when it hits you
The air still makes your lungs burn
We all wanted a quick ending
But we’ve had to learn no spring skips its term
We all want some resolution
But we’ve had to learn no spring skips its turn
I feel the rust, the cabin fever, the endless sitting on needles and pins
The burnt nerves from running heaters, I can’t stop itching this sandpaper skin
Got window seats for this bleak season, longing to see a solitary bird
Yes change will come but there’s a sequence and no spring ever skips its turn
The tyrant spell that once possessed me is slowly starting to melt away
The bitter chill, once so repressing, may finally relinquish the reigns
The wind still cuts when it hits you
The air still makes your lungs burn
We all wanted a quick ending
But we’ve had to learn no spring skips its term
We all want some resolution
But we’ve had to learn no spring skips its turn
We've seen the darkest of this season
And we had to learn no spring skips its turn
©2021
THE LOST SEASON SESSIONS Vol. 2: Madness and Monotony
(2020)
The walls are caving in, get me out of this
Want out of my own skin, come get me out of this
It shakes me in the dark into wakefulness
I just don’t have the heart for this precious mess
I’m feeling so confined, come get me out of this
I’ve got precious little time for this precious mess
I poured some perfume in your name tonight
Woke up and made breakfast at 3AM tonight
It shakes me in the dark into wakefulness
I just don’t have the heart for this precious mess
I’m feeling so confined, come get me out of this
I’ve got precious little time for this precious mess
I’ve got precious fleeting thoughts I can’t get off my chest
And precious memories I can’t seem to coalesce
It shakes me in the dark into wakefulness
I just don’t have the heart for this precious mess
I’m feeling so confined, come get me out of this
I’ve got precious little time for this precious mess
I just can’t make it work on unemployment checks
And my last precious nerve has already been spent
I barely have the time, I barely made the rent
I’m losing my mind total helplessness
I just don’t have the heart
I just don’t have the heart
No Thunder Close to Me
I thought you were a poet
And found out you were a thief
With rather delicate hands
For a revolutionary
Generals on horseback
Tumble to the ground
I’m holding a sledgehammer
And you’re nowhere to be found
I hear your silence and it’s deafening
There’s lightning in the valley
But not a whisper of thunder close to me
I thought you were a singer
Whose words would dance from a page
But all of your bravado
Is just a name on a stage
I hear your silence and it’s deafening
There’s lightning in the valley
But not a whisper of thunder close to me
You owe me nothing and that’s what I got
You owe me nothing and that’s what I got
Nothing…
Downside of the Boom
We’re all facing the same disease
That led to this idiocracy
It’s not the virus that’s on TV
It’s the myth of the American dream
Everyone move over, everyone make room
We’re on the downside of the boom
From blind, benign patriotic crackpots
To malignant nationalistic rot
It’s a land of manifest destiny
That salutes a whitewashed history
We’re running on empty, on our last fumes
We’re on the downside of the boom
The shining city on the hill
Is swallowing a bitter pill
Yet there are zealots that refuse to see
The broken promise of the American dream
But now the chickens have come home to roost
We’re on the downside of the boom
I fear the worst is yet to come
Change is hard and not for everyone
So buckle down and hold on tight
I hope we make it through the night
You can feel the sense of impending doom
We’re on the downside, heading on the downslide
Everyone move over, everyone make room
We’re on the downside of the boom
Statues
Hatred hangs high on a pedestal
A long, dark shadow that’s unforgettable
Mallets and chisels replaced the swords
Intimidation, weapons of war
We’re haunted by statues of ghosts
Pillars of lies etched into stones
These are myths of the lost cause, immortalized and cast in bronze
We’re haunted by statues of ghosts
Reconstruction, a past disowned
Pious redemption recast in stone
Looming figures stare out at dawn
Effigies of lies agreed upon
We’re haunted by statues of ghosts
Pillars of lies etched into stones
These are myths of the lost cause, immortalized and cast in bronze
We’re haunted by statues of ghosts
But reckoning has come at last
And I’m standing with iconoclasts
Tearing down statues of ghosts
Angels in the Street
The bell has now tolled
For the summer soldiers
Who have left the front lines ignored and completely exhausted
But back to the cold
Go the blistering soles
On the feet of unshakable souls that have never stopped marching
All the sins we’ve ignored
Will rot us to the core
So thank god for angels in the street
The ones that still enlist
Are those that have witnessed
The all too common carnage that constantly blinds us
Exposed at the roots
Pointing cameras at truths
To see the deeply embedded darkness that seems to define us
All the sins we’ve ignored
Will rot us to the core
So thank god for angels in the street
It’s not for the faint of heart
To carry all of these scars
Been far too feathered and tarred to turn the other cheek
For all the lost and the loved
Will look down from above
And thank god for angels in the street
All the sins we’ve ignored
Will rot us to the core
So thank god for angels in the street
Amphibian
I’m learning to live on land
Out of the water and on to the sand
Traded my fins for a pair of hands
I’ll get to you just as soon as I can
Crawled from the sea just to breathe in this strange world
Crawled from the sea just to breathe in this strange world
Can’t you see you made me an amphibian
I like the taste of your oxygen
And the way it travels through my skin
It sends chills up and down my limbs
I am an amphibian
Crawled from the sea just to breathe in this strange world
Crawled from the sea just to breathe in this strange world
Can’t you see you made me an amphibian
I grew a backbone and a new set of lungs
I’ll pull you in with a flick of the tongue
My evolution has just begun
I am an amphibian
I’m the creature from the black lagoon
I just want to get closer to you
Can’t you see you made me an amphibian
The Invisible Man
Maybe you’re blind or just walk in your sleep
Or never look down when you walk over me
You may be afraid of the truth you might to see
Or just be oblivious to the soles of your feet
But I am the Invisible Man
And you couldn’t care less who I am
I’m the invisible man
At least I know where I stand
Maybe I’m seen as a burden to you
I’m better ignored than exposed in full view
I’m better forgotten and kept out of sight
In the darkness of shadows and the blinding white lights
I am the Invisible Man
And you don’t give a damn who I am
I am the invisible man
I guess I know just where I stand
It’s mercy to lift me up to my feet
But you’re far too content to let me lie in the street
Far too content to walk consciously blind
Yes I’m fully aware I don’t exist in your eyes
Cause I am the invisible man
And you don’t give a damn that I am
The invisible man
At least I know where I stand
Begin to Break
We lost track of time
Laid motionless as it flew by
Minutes turned to months
Time moved slow then all at once
We all could desperately use
A little bit of good news
Before we all begin to break
Our muscles don’t respond
And all our sense of touch is gone
The wounds have yet to scar
So we keep the screams inside our hearts
We all could desperately use
A little bit of good news
Before we all begin to break
American Man-Child
I won’t be muzzled into silence
Cause I got a mind of my own
Listen my friend, your freedom ends at the tip of my nose
I’m the lone cowboy
A one-man firing squad
I’m a man-child, an American man-child
I don’t believe in your so-called “science”
I’m free from that tyranny
I won’t be taught and brainwashed
By finger pointing elites
I’m not a pack animal
No one tells me what to do
I’m a man-child, an American man-child
I’m suiting up for the battle
Cause no one treads on me
There’s no debate, no give and take
Just hand grenade diplomacy
I’m the lone cowboy
A one-man firing squad
I’m a man-child, an American man-child
(No Parking) This Side of Temporary
Raise the rent, price us out
Pack up the merchandise
Tear it all down at a feverish pace
Till there are streets I don’t recognize
Mom and pop, closed the shop, forced to say their goodbyes
Where we all going to go when we all get displaced?
The sign says…
There’s no parking on this side of temporary
No long-term parking, it’s all temporary
An overgrown construction zone
When did this place get so tall?
High rise floors with vacant stores
You lost all your small-town charm
They’re knocking down all of downtown, here comes the wrecking ball
And all the familiar faces are all getting squeezed out
The sign says…
There’s no parking on this side of temporary
No long-term parking, it’s all temporary
Where we all going to go when we all get displaced?
The Dream within the Dream
Consciousness is worth its weight in gold
It’s easy to find but impossible to hold
Eyes get heavy, you stray and start to lose control
It’s the dream within the dream
The yellow lines have lost all their appeal
Drifting eyes drift off of the windshield
Sooner than later you fall asleep at the wheel
In the dream within the dream
There’s no parade, no cacophony
No passing cars that jar you out of sleep
You keep floating further from reality
In the dream within the dream
Everything feels so heavy now
Everything feels so heavy now
You catch yourself, something interrupts
You’re energized the moment you unplug
You’re not giving in you’re just waking up
From the dream within the dream
Everything feels so heavy now
Everything feels so heavy now
In the dream within the dream
©2020
THE LOST SEASON SESSIONS Vol. 1: The Big Pause
(2020)
Spring Fever
I see the birds and I imagine that they’re singing again
I watch them fly but I can’t hear them with all the noise inside my head
The empty streets feel so heavy now that they’re drained of life
I need to see another headlight just to make sure I’m alive
Everybody’s feeling this spring fever
This one is going to linger for awhile
Everybody’s feeling this spring fever
This one is going to last all summer long
It’s the season of resilience, the season of uncertainty
I try to ground myself in it but there’s nothing grounding me
Through all of the dreams interrupted, set aside and left to rust
The friends and families fragmented
Damn near everyone I love is turning to dust
Everybody’s feeling this spring fever
This one is going to linger for awhile
Everybody’s feeling this spring fever
This one is going to last all summer long
This one’s going to last the whole year long
To Be Quarnatined
The day came in, the day went out
Sealed inside this timeless space
Roaming the halls, staring at walls I can’t escape
The light comes in, the light goes out
I pace like an animal in a cage
Buried alive, dig me out in 14 days
Is this what it means to be quarantined, just hopelessly killing time
I wish you and I could be outside watching the sky but I can’t make it out tonight
Time moves slow then time just stops
This isolation's killing
The next time that I’m stuck inside, I want you here with me
Nonessential
There were rumors running round about the storm clouds in the valley of the sun
Whispered conversations that the downsizing had already begun
They kept me a part timer, working 39 ½ hours
Thrown around like some low level hired gun
Well this long weekend just got longer as they let go of 20 more including me
Got some bullshit condolence letter saying they hope it will only be temporary
There are no graceful exits as I try to stay clearheaded
Thus furlough kicks me right back to the streets
They deemed me non-essential
I’m inconsequential,
We’re all disposable
And everyone like me has got to go
I’m now a hardened soldier, a weather-beat machine of a man
But a 50 year old warhorse doesn’t seem to be that much in demand
Now all us trampled flowers have been filing claims for hours
Right now we’ll take any help that we can get
They deemed me non-essential,
I'm inconsequential
We're all disposable
And everyone like me has got to go
Bottlenecked
Restless, I see that you’re uneasy
And growing more distressed
Helpless, I’m here yet I’m so distant
There’s too much to process
I’m bottlenecked
Can’t get the words to leave my mouth
Bottlenecked
Just standing here in silence
Bottlenecked
How does anyone get anywhere?
There were no road maps for this
How does anyone get anywhere?
Through this atrophy and weariness
Through this bottleneck
Shut down, I don’t want to be a burden
So I stay motionless
I’d turn ‘round, if it was just that easy
To save us from this mess
Bottlenecked
I close up and nothing’s coming out
Bottlenecked
You’re standing there defenseless
And I’m bottlenecked
Laughter
Stagnant air
House in disrepair
Make time to breathe
It’s not as bad as it might really seem
Life gets tired of living around here
You need a little laughter to clear the air
The past doesn’t pass so quickly around here
You need a little laughter to purify the air
Overwhelmed
Can’t unpack myself
Falling backwards
Longing after a little unselfish laughter
Life gets tired of living around here
You need a little laughter to clear the air
The past doesn’t pass so quickly around here
You need a little laughter to purify the air
A soaked up sponge
Drowning everyone
Waterlogged roots
Someday someone might harvest the fruit
Some Things Aren't Meant to Fly
The sky swallowed you whole
And spit you out at ten thousand feet
You really thought you could fly
But I'm thankful for gravity
You can’t stay that high forever
Some things aren’t meant to fly
You woke up invincible
And you took a marvelous leap
You really thought I could fly
But you came crashing down on me
You can't stay that high forever
Some things aren’t meant to fly
I’m staying low to the ground now
Where I found a little empathy
It might be laughably small
But it’s moral victory
You can’t stay that high forever
Some things aren’t meant to fly
No one can stay that high forever
No I’m not meant to fly
Up All Night Morning
Here comes a prodigal son who can’t find his place
Daylight leaks out of his ashen face
As the fog starts to lift and the air starts warming
He sees the first light of an up all night morning
Here comes a drunken angel that couldn’t resist
A drunken fate sealed with a drunken kiss
His freshly broken heart was trying to break even
He stumbles through the light of an up all night evening
Daylight is now starting to creep
Even these demons have to eventually sleep
Will morning save the wretch like me?
Even my demons have to eventually sleep
Creatures from other worlds really exist
In the pariahs and messiahs and the graveyard shifts
As the fog starts to lift and the air starts warming
They see the first light of an up all night morning
There’s a high speeder who got caught in a low drag
Now he’s a homeless man that sleeps under an American flag
Some ghosts you don’t see, some ghosts you’re ignoring
Some ghosts stay forgotten in the first light of morning
I started to drift but woke myself snoring
Just to see the first light of an up all night morning
River of Doubt
There's no rain that's going to wash me clean
Or make me feel like a human being
It’s been three weeks since I’ve dried up
And walked right into this river of doubt
What am I to do with all of these
Sleep deprived reveries?
Life’s too short to be at war with yourself
And then you walk right into this river of doubt
I walked right into a river of doubt
Maybe I’ll learn to live with my sins
And the world will invite me back in
Just when you think it's safe to come out
You walk right into a river of doubt
I walked right into a river of doubt
Such a Stupid Man
These are my last words
You’ve heard them all before
But I can’t understand how you could fall for such a stupid man
Who have you become?
To stoop to someone so dumb
It’s a sick little joke, I would laugh but I can’t and won’t
Can’t you see he’s lying while he’s lying next to you?
Can’t you see he’s lying when he’s lying next to you?
Such a stupid little man to give yourself up to
Can’t you see he’s lying when he’s lying next to you?
Have you lost your mind?
Are you now willfully blind?
I guess you’re completely fine with all of his misogynistic lines
Oh well, nevermind...
I admit defeat
I can’t wake someone not asleep
We’ve grown far apart, time for someone else to break my heart
Till the World Starts Spinning Again
Clothes
Gonna burn all of your clothes
I don’t want to be exposed
No I don’t want to be exposed
Shrinking violet, sinking low
Keep your distance, don’t get too close
I don’t want you anywhere near
I’m locked and loaded, I’m not leaving here
Don’t come get me till I say when
You won't see me till the world starts spinning again
Kiss
Don’t need your infected kiss
I don’t want to be at risk
No I don’t want to be at risk
I’ve got two hands, I don’t need no helper
Crowding my brain, looking for shelter
I locked myself in and I locked you out
Don’t need your noise in this quiet little house
Don’t come get me till I say when
I’ll be out till the world starts spinning again
Home
This is not your home
I’ll fight this one alone
I’ll fight this one alone
Gloves on my hands, a mask on my face
I need fifty feet of personal space
Pull back the curtains, stare into the void
And you have the nerve to call me paranoid
© 2020
BAGGAGE AND BLOODLINES (w/ Molly Countermine)
(2018)
Really Miss Your Rain
Drought, it’s been a long, long drought
I’m burned out, I really miss your rain
Drink, god I could use a drink
It’s far too hot to think, I really miss your rain
Cry on me, come wash me out
Your falling tears on my cottonmouth
Rain, I really miss your rain
Heat, an unrelenting heat
A hundred-plus degrees, I really miss your rain
Cursed, feels like I’m cursed
I’m dying of thirst, I really miss your rain
Those weeping eyes are sorely missed
I’m dying for a little kiss of your rain
I really miss your rain
Hell, it’s been three weeks of hell
It’s been a long, dry spell, I really miss your rain
Long Live Low Tide
A world spilled in, then spilled back out
It left a bitter taste in my mouth
I’ll spend the next year digging myself out
I can rebuild if I’m given time
We all need a little more time
So long live the low tide
Maybe I’m hanging too much on pride
Maybe I’m just blind to my own demise
I can’t see the sea change if I close my eyes
I can make peace if I’m given time
We all need a little more time
So long live the low tide
I can’t seem to work myself free
I can’t afford to stay, I can’t afford to leave
A new moon’s crashing down on me
I can ride it out if I’m given time
We all need a little more time
So long live the low tide
So Much Later than Before
Wipe the dirt off your skirt
Then hide that dirt under the rug
Drag your feet while you sweep
Into that hole that you’ve dug
The night before the morning after
You were all smiles and nervous laughter
You’re all alone in this great unknown
You’re so much later than before
Wipe that chagrin off your chin
Keep that fakeness on your face
No one can tell how far you fell
Or that you feel so out of place
Brush him away, brush it all aside
No one can tell that you even cried
You’re all alone in this great unknown
You’re so much later than before
Fall on your sword, swallow your words
And keep him a casual affair
He’ll never know that you’re all alone
You’re the only one that knows you scared
Sign of the cross, across your chest
You pray to god while you’re waiting on this test
You’re all alone in this great unknown
So much later than before
Spitting Image
I’m a spitting image
Of you 30 years ago
Singing in the same haunts
With ghosts I won’t outgrow
Strangers always saying to me
They see you in me
I want to scream out loud to myself
But I just smile politely and say
I’m nothing like you
Furthest thing from the sun
No I don’t want be where I came from
It’s not that I dislike you
I’d have to know you for that
Too many years of bad taste in my mouth
And too few years left to unpack
You have no idea who I am
I’m just a card on a birthday
We’re two complete strangers in this world
That once shared the same name
But I’m nothing like you
Furthest thing from the sun
No I don’t want to be where I came from
Cause I don’t want be where I came from
No I don’t want to be where I came from
Now Who’s Afraid
Here he comes
The coddled son
The wanna-be pimp
With the Frankenstein limp
Throwing shade on everyone
Here he comes, here he comes
There he is
The spoiled kid
The loose cannon
Throwing temper tantrums
I won’t cower to the boy king
There he is, there he is
You think you can talk to me like that and I won’t turn around and start biting back
I cut like a razor blade
All your money, all your power won’t silence me, I’ll just get louder and rage
Now who’s afraid?
Run and hide
He runs and hides
It seems only fair
That I shoot him glares
He can’t look a woman in the eye
He runs and hides, he runs and hides
There he goes
He’s been exposed
Tail between his legs
Down to the last dregs
The emperor has no clothes
There he goes, there he goes
Murmuration (Stay Close Tonight)
The starlings are congregating
Ready to rage against the last sunlight
There’s a storm
On the horizon
They know to stay close tonight
They twist and turn into the headwinds
As the stragglers all fall in line
There’s a danger
In isolation
They know to stay close tonight
It’s a new generation
Rising from ashes up to the skies
From a murmur to murmuration
An insurgency is taking flight
Silhouettes against the madness
Pirouettes across a dying light
They’re defiant
In their sheer numbers
They know to stay close tonight
Fly, Fly, Fly
Caged, you’re kept in a cage, far from the stage, far from the lights
Limp, your body goes limp, your wings have been clipped, yet you dream to
Fly, fly, fly
No man can keep you tied to the ground
You fly, fly, fly
Listen to the caged bird sing when she flies
Silent, you’re taught to be silent, to remain quiet, to stay in your place
But chains can’t keep you restrained, you’llchew through the cage till you’re free to
Fly, fly, fly
No man can keep you tied to the ground
You fly, fly, fly
Listen to the caged bird sing when she flies
Hungry Ghost
Forever child, forever numb
Forever lost while I was chasing the sun
I want to live
Without regret
Forever hoping that I’ll somehow be content
I’m a hungry ghost
Forever black, forever pale,
Forever hiding behind an invisible veil
I want to be loud
I want to be seen
Forever wanting to be anyone but me
I’m a hungry ghost
Forever flawed, forever doubt
Forever telling myself “I need to get out”
I want to feel loved
I want to feel safe
Forever free from all the toxins I still crave
I’m a hungry ghost
Far Too Young
Far too young
To be scarred for no reason
To see trust turn to treason
To be sentenced to a life with those demons
Far too young
Far too young
To be shamed into silence
By a man filled with violence
Broken down to the point of compliance
Far too young
Carrion flowers cover a grave
Where your innocence died and you buried his name
Far too young
To lock secrets inside you
Where the darkness can’t hide you
From the monster that tries to define you
Far too young
Whatever God Eases the Pain
I’m damaged but the bruises don’t show
I’m unlike the person you think you know
I’m shut in, I locked down years ago
And that’s where I plan to stay
I’m broken and I never healed
I wrestle with a survivor’s guilt
I stumble through this life that you’ve built
I’m terrified to walk unafraid
You can’t imagine what goes through my brain
So I plead and I pray to whatever god comes and eases this pain
I’m needy but I don’t need your help
I’m fluent but can’t describe what I’ve felt
Suspicion is unparalleled
My distrust is completely engrained
All I want to do is escape
So I plead and I pray to whatever god comes and eases this pain
I play dead among the vultures and sharks
I play dead among the patriarchs
I play dead, I’ve learned to play that part
I lay there quietly and pray
To whatever god eases the pain
Punch Holes in the Darkness
It’s been the longest, darkest hour in the longest, darkest night,
Seems like forever. No end in sight
Punch holes in the darkness till you start to see the light
I hear the sounds of resistance, all the sounds of discontent
Rising tensions, just need to vent
Punch holes in the darkness so we can see through our ignorance
The cuts still run deep, the wounds still open wide
Colors can’t heal if they’re only black and white
Wake yourself up and open up your eyes
Start shouting and kicking and screaming until you start to see the light
Too many deaf ears are too easily dismissed
Open your arms and clench your fists
Punch holes in the darkness till the darkness can’t exist
It’s been the longest, darkest hour in the longest, darkest night,
Seems like forever. No end in sight
Punch holes in the darkness till you start to see the light
©2018
LAST FLOWER STANDING
(2016)
How Many More
Tell me how many more drinks till you’re out of my head?
Till I don’t have to turn and wake to your ghost in this bed
Till I’m not paralyzed by everything that you said
Tell me how many more drinks till you’re out of my head?
How many more cigarettes, am I going have to smoke?
The ashtray is already full of your lipstick, punched-out jokes
I’m trying my best to exhale you, but I only seem to choke
So how many more cigarettes am I going have to smoke?
Tell me how long I must wait till I can look in your eyes
You’ve built walls upon walls, yeah you’re trying your best to hide
No, you don’t want me to see youin the bright afternoon light
So tell me how long I must wait till I can look in your eyes
How many more?
Tell me how many wrong things are we both going to say?
The words that come out are toxic, they only seem to betray
All those hung-over regretsthat neither of us can convey
So tell me how many wrong things are we both going to say?
How many more?
A Flower in Madrid
She’s lights up the Rivera like a darling of the silver screen
She’s august in London, you would think she was the queen
She’s a sculpture in Florence that tourists all rush to see
She’s a siren in Athens that lures sailors in from the deep
She’s got arms strung like branches and legs as long as the trees
She’d have the whole world held captive if she weren’t here holding me
She’s the dove in Barcelona staring across the skyline
She’s the ghost in Saint Peters that’s only seen in the sunlight
She’s a flower in Madrid waiting for a summer rain to fall
She’s a portrait in Paris hanging on museum walls
She’s got arms strung like branches and legs as long as the trees
She’d have the whole world held captive if she weren’t here holding me
The Presence of your Absence
I can’t walk a block without you running into me
You are everywhere I look; you’re the only thing I see
You blind me in an instant and I start to lose my balance
And I’m stuck loitering in the presence of your absence
I must have seen your eyes over a thousand times today
I wish I had the willpower to look the other way
I wish I had the strength to break free from these talons
But I’m just lingering in the presence of your absence
When will I hit bottom, when will I self-destruct
When will you intervene and slowly pick me up
I wish I had your hand to spare me from the damage
But I’m falling even deeper in the presence of your absence
I clearly remember every smile line on your face
And the feeling of your arms tied tightly around my waist
Sometimes it even feels like nothing ever happened
It’s like you are right here in the presence of your absence
But when the world goes dark you’re a million miles away
My friend gets deathly quiet, she’s got nothing to say
I wish I had the words that went into the caption
But everything is empty in the presence of your absence
Time is slowing down, when it used to go so fast
The nights go on forever, no they never seem to pass
If I make it till the morning then I’m only met with silence
And another lonesome day in the presence of your absence
Rather Live with this Heartache
I still pine for you, I’m still in withdrawal
Sometimes I shake like I need a fix until I’m climbing walls
I still burn for you, I’m still lovesick
I walk through ashes and soot where the air’s still chokingly thick
But I’d rather live with this heartache than have to live with you…
I got restless legs, I can’t get out of my skin
I sweat it all out only to soak you right back in
But I’d rather live with this heartache than have to live with you…
You wear a jealous smile that’s rarely sober or straight
It’s got a knack of breaking things that were never yours to break
Give me some lucid eyes to see the damage you’ve done
Going wake some morning grateful that I’m not numb
So I’d rather live with this heartache than have to live with you…
spin.spinning.spun
I felt like I was brainwashed
That you’d been gaslighting me
That cold winter night I watched you ignite
And burn a hole right through me
Yeah, morning is a disinfectant, it’s an unforgiving sun
But try as I might, I can’t find my shadow
Spin.spinning.spun
I feel like I've been banished
Forced to live underground
It’s a very lonely feeling
Trying to blend in with the crowd
I paid the price of admission, not asking for a refund
Just take away a little of the pain
Spin.spinning.spun
I took a train to the station
Tried to get there by nightfall
I thought you’d be waiting so reasonably
But you weren't waiting at all
I looked around in every direction
Hoping that you would appear
When I realized, to my surprise
I‘d been waiting over a year
So I picked up all my baggage, easier said than done
Spit my heart out like a chewed piece of gum
Spin.spinning.spun
I am hardened now, on that long train back home
Spin.spinning.spun
Where Dreams Go to Die
You’re not getting high and you know
It’s just brief relief from the lows
And tomorrow you’ll wake with a low
That’s lower than low
You hate your job, but it pays
For all of last night’s cabernets
You’re living a lie, this is your life
You just want to go where dreams go to die
Two drinks and you’re out of your shell
The fog starts to lift, the fears dispel
You lose track of time and yourself
You hide from yourself
The next day you’re back in your cell
You want escape but you dwell
On every missed step, every black eye
You just want to go where dreams got to die
You struggle to breathe, you’re buried alive
You just want to go where dreams go to die
You want to get lost, you want somewhere to hide
You just want to go where dreams go to die
You walk down those stairs, the door’s to your right
Back to the bar where dreams go to die
Little Rose
Look at you, you hid all summer
Barely felt the sun
A volunteer, estranged from your family
Ignored by everyone
August is fading, bring down the curtain on this perennial show
The winds are changing, the nights will get longer,
Stay strong little rose
You’re so-called friends, they’ve all wilted
They really weren’t that strong
Even the trees take some punches
There’re barely hanging on
Look at you, you won’t surrender
A rebel in full bloom
You take a beating, but nothing can beat
The pretty out of you
The world around you is all brown and barren, winter is getting close
Look at you you’re the last flower standing,
Stay strong little rose
What Your Love Looks Like
That leather jacket’s starting to wear thin
All smoked stained and drained of life
Just like your once pristine alabaster skin
It’s aged ten years the last three nights
You once adorned yourself in the tightest threads
Now you just wear clothes that hide
Something dark, something without a shape
The same thing you wore the last three nights
Ghostly white in broad daylight
This is what your love looks like
Sleep deprived, sunken eyes
This is what your love looks likes
Your gaze is empty and your hair’s pulled back
Your face flushed with formaldehyde
It looks like you but I can’t make you out
You’ve been embalmed the last three nights
Ghostly white in broad daylight
This is what your love looks like
Sleep deprived, sunken eyes
This is what your love looks likes
Weightless
I dream I'm free falling but I never hit ground.
There’s nothing below me, I'm just falling down.
I can’t feel the air, I can’t feel my face
My eyes are wide open but I’m not awake
If I’ve been weightless, remind me it’s only a dream
I dream I’m in water and I never drown
I can’t make it to shore, I’m just watered down
“No man’s an island” or so they say
As I lay helpless on this wave
If I’ve been weightless, remind me it’s only a dream
I dream that I panic while lost in a crowd
I can’t move my body, there’s no way to get out
I can’t catch my breath, I can’t stop my brain
My throat starts to tighten as I call out your name
If I’ve been weightless, remind me it’s only a dream
Black, White, and Dorian Gray
You, you’re still safe
In all these photos that I saved
Time there is frozen, Time there is frozen
You, sitting there
So reckless and young, too cool to care
You stay young forever, we stay young forever
In black, white and dorian gray
You, you won’t fade
You won’t just disappear with age
I’ll keep you protected, I’ll keep us protected
I’m not alone
You’re sitting right here in monotones
You stay young forever, we stay young forever
In black, white and dorian gray
Bigger Bombs
You’re going to need a bigger broom to sweep up what I drop
You’re going to a little time you better bring a clock
You’re going to need a bigger hammer to knock out all these walls
You’re going to need a little brass in case we start to brawl
You’re going to need bigger lies or going to need bigger bombs
You’re going to need alibis or going to need napalm
You’re going to need bigger bombs
You’re going to need a bigger ladder to climb back to the top
You’re going to need a little backup before you stand in front
You’re going to need a bigger curve to make this all seem straight
You’re going to a little nerve so you don’t walk away
You’re going to need bigger lies or going to need bigger bombs
You’re going to need alibis or going to need napalm
You’re going to need bigger bombs
Where it Never Rains
The sky’s falling into the sea but not on me
The morning rains all around me but not on me
Cause you keep the sun in a picture frame where it never rains
Yeah you keep the sun in a picture frame where it never rains
The world seems so quiet today for a change
It might be fluke, it might be rain but it’s a nice change
You keep the sun in your arms, like a good luck charm
You’re in my arms like a good luck charm
I’m soaked to the bone and you just laugh and it makes me laugh
It feels like we’re in a photograph and I can’t help but laugh
Cause you keep the sun in a picture frame
Where it never rains
Yeah you keep the sun in a picture frame
Where it never rains
Bury this Shadow
Words open wounds like steel harpoons
Infection oozes out
A thousand lies, unsterilized
Get swept under a shroud
Till cancer grows, quickly plateaus
And we’re completely numb
Down on our knees, sworn enemies
In a love that can’t be won
We are both such a mess tonight
Nothing makes sense tonight
Just a drunken mess tonight trying to bury this shadow
Our heads know nothing more
Our eyes see nothing more
And our hearts are nothing more than trying to bury this shadow
Surrogate lives in a stranger’s arms
With no chance of parole
Throwing fists at prison walls
Yeah this love’s taken a toll
Broken hearts, some busted strings
Some jaded rock and roll
And once again, we find ourselves
Pounding square pegs in round holes
©2016
SEA FOAM GREEN
(2014)
Blue as Blue
Blue as blue
The darkest shade you could imagine over you
The coldest cold front randomly just passes through
No weatherman predicted it would be as blue as blue
Grey as gray
It’s not supposed to be this dark this time of day
Distant thunder slowly starts to resonate
The forecast never mentioned it would be as gray as gray
Blue as blue
You keep telling everyone that the sky is going to fall on you
Black as black
With no forewarning, darkness suddenly attacks
A solitary raindrop makes the first contact
Lightning flashes cross the sky then fades as black as black
Blue as blue
You keep telling everyone that the sky is going to fall on you
_______________________________________________________
Let’s be Nineteen
We should put our shades on
Put some quiet on our eyes
Yeah we look out of place
But we’re creatures from the night
To them, we’re immortal
So might as well act the part
It makes little difference
If we are if or if weren’t not
So let’s be famous, Let’s be seen
Let’s skip the ending , Let’s be nineteen
Let’s venture out now
And get dragged out to the fringe
While everyone else
They’re all grounded in the wind
To them, we’re just vagrants
But that’s just jealousy
They all secretly want to
To be just like you and me
Don’t want to be John and Jane Doe
Wearing pedestrian shoes and clothes
All watered down and colorless
We want to be young and reckless
We want to be a glorious mess, oh to be famous
They go see us in movies
We’re the vampires and zombies
Who want to stay young forever
We all want to be a celebrity
_______________________________________________________
Cameras and Microphones
Heroes, people need their cardboard heroes
Build them statues like their Nero
All defenders of the crown
Villains, we all need our cartoon villains
Feed them to all us civilians
And watch us burn Rome to the ground
It’s twisted, contorted,
It all gets distorted by cameras and microphones
Witch hunt, everybody loves a witch-hunt
That’s’ nothing more than a PR stunt
You got us eating from your hands
Turncoat, find someone to wear the turncoat
Dress them up, make them a scapegoat
Give us our sacrificial lamb
It’s twisted, contorted,
It all gets distorted by cameras and microphones
You built it up, melted it down
You cherry picked this little town
Headlines, people love a sexy headline
Feel free to fabricate those sound bites
No, you’re not tethered to the facts
_______________________________________________________
Maybe She's Happy
she stopped to say hello
still in last year's clothes
she seemed happy, maybe she's happy
she said she's done with men
but she has one every now and then
she was funny, she always was funny
she's got a long history
of being the girl in-between
maybe she broke the routine
and maybe she's happy
she found a single room to rent
now that she's single again
she's efficient, she was always efficient
she's getting a part time job
so she can spend more time with her dog
it's nice to feel wanted, it's nice to feel wanted
she slowly started to retreat
when the questions turned to me
she left uneasy, we both left uneasy
I sort of felt compelled to stay
but I kept walking away
I once hurt her, I know I once hurt her
she's got a long history
of being the girl in-between
maybe she broke the routine
and maybe she's happy
_______________________________________________________
Flying too Close to the Sun
If wishes were inches
We’d be giants in no time
Marching up and down these streets,
Cutting everyone to size
We’re the poets and the dreamers, the circus ringleaders, we’re radicals out on the run
Yes we’re aerodynamic, hopeless romantics flying to close to the sun
If wishes were tremors
They’d be rattling these walls
You would feel it through this floor;
They would echo down these halls
If wishes were kindle
We would round up all the trash
And burn this whole place down
From blue flame to black ash
_____________________________________________
Running on a Loop in my Brain
You’re running on a loop in my brain
You’re running on a loop in my brain
I feel like I’m going insane
Cause I don’t even know your name
I ran into a runaway train
And now you’re running on a loop in my brain
_______________________________________________________
Anonymous
You won’t see me when I’m coming
You won’t hear a sound
My arm is long enough to reach you
From shadows and backgrounds
I’m not in your sight line
I live in your peripheral
I move with the landscape
It’s like I’m invisible
I’m just a face in the crowd
With no traceable footprint
It’s easy to be unforgettable
The trick is to stay anonymous
You can’t define me, I’m beyond definition
You can’t make me out, I’m beyond recognition
I’m never there, but I’m everywhere
I’m anonymous
I am your creation
That’s how we coexist
You in your world of monsters
And me anonymous
I’m just a face in the crowd
With no traceable footprint
It’s easy to be unforgettable
The trick is to stay anonymous
_______________________________________________________
Tangible Tonight
Your carpet’s covered in bloodstains
Friendly fire at close range
Wash that cold blood off your feet
Rinse, lather, rinse and repeat
What’s the point of this pointless war?
There’s nothing worthwhile fighting for
Don’t you want something tangible tonight?
You’re your own worst enemy
A self-inflicted causality
Time to bandage all those wounds
Time to pull out all those troops
Time to make some sort of truce
You waging war against yourself
You need to get out of that house
Don’t you want something tangible tonight?
You’re too far inside your head
You’ve seen far too much bloodshed
Time to declare victory
It’s time to makes some sort of peace
And let me nurse your injuries
There’s no point in this pointless war
There’s nothing worthwhile fighting for
No one’s even keeping score tonight
Don’t you want something tangible tonight?
_______________________________________________________
Painting Hearts on my Sleeve
It’s all right there
In full frontal clarity
You’re standing right there in front of me
Painting hearts on my sleeve
When I come unglued
And knocked down to my feet
You’re everywhere I need you to be
Sewing hearts on my sleeve
When I feel exposed
My clothes start wearing on me
You somehow get me through in one piece
Sewing hearts on my sleeve
Now I know what it’s like
To walk in full sunlight
You’re shining brightly all over me
Painting hearts on my sleeve
_______________________________________________________
A Wreck Around You
Happiness always derails me
It catches me off guard and quickly inhales me
How are you supposed to feel when you’re coming unglued?
I’m a far too exposed to be immune
I’m constantly a wreck around you
Happiness always seems to mute me
I’m suddenly a blank as words elude me
And then it comes out all wrong right on cue
I’m the easiest person to misconstrue
Cause I’m constantly a wreck around you
_______________________________________________________
Nothing’s Worse than I Don’t Know
Early morning and red light warnings
She can’t remember or she chose to forget
Any ambition, in my condition kills a perfectly good hangover
A lack of judgment, a lack of prudence
When she’s decisive, she prefers to flaunt it loud
But in an instant, she turns distant
Nothing’s worse than I don’t know
Now it’s mid-day and she seems unphased
If she’s sorry then forgiveness is waning fast
I’m uneasy, and she’s not speaking, her memory must still be tainted
Yeah I’m neurotic, but she’s psychotic
Not right now; it’s excessive waste of time
She’s unyielding, so unrevealing
Nothing’s worse than I don’t know
Nothing’s acknowledged, nothing’s addressed
She just gets distant and nothing’s said
She’s freezes up, turns into stone
Nothing’s worse than I don’t know
Early evening, a brand new season
A change of heart or at least a change of mood
She’s electric, apologetic and determined that I stay over
Yet it’s still unclear, why I’m still here
I must have some sort of vendetta against myself
She’s unrelenting till I’m consenting
Nothing’s worse than I don’t know
Now she’s thawed, almost undressed
She’s someone else, yes she’s possessed
And I’m here hanging on her threads
Nothing’s worse than I don’t know
_______________________________________________________
Just Enough Rope
I’m in the business of selling dreams
Welcome to the major leagues
Where every salesman is a small time thief
I’ll give you just enough rope
People see what they want to see
When you’re young, you’re so naive
You quickly lost track of reality
I’ll give you just enough rope
I pull the string and you’re entwined
I have free reign to rob you blind
You were just a prisoner of hope
And I gave you just enough rope
You hardly needed to be coerced
You were quick to dive headfirst
Can’t find the bottom you’re completely immersed
I gave you just enough rope
Don’t blame yourself, the game is rigged
I handicapped the whole damn thing
You were just a prisoner of hope
And I gave you just enough rope
This is all just a ponzi scheme
What I did to you was done to me
We’re in the business of selling dreams
I gave you just enough rope
_______________________________________________________
Got Me Under Your Spell
Breathe directly into me
And I quickly fall to pieces
Steal my oxygen supply
And leave me completely speechless
Pull me closer into you
Until I have no sense of self
I want to be under your shadow
I want to be under your spell
You, you got me, you got me under your spell
You, you got me, you got me under your spell
I just want to, I just want to, I want to lose myself
You got me under, you got me under, you got me under your spell
Push me up against the wall
In a momentary weakness
Drape yourself all over me
And then the pounding just increases
Pull me closer into you
Pull me deep under your sheets
Where your hands can feel me breathing
They pantomime my heart beat
_______________________________________________________
The More I Keep Digging
I’ve followed the money past the “victimless” crimes
Followed the money past the nickel and dimes
I went straight to the buildings were your name is engraved
The more I keep digging the deeper your grave
I’ve pounded on pavement and dug through the weeds
Sifted through your wreckage for every lost lead
Somehow you still think your completely unscathed
But the more I keep digging the deeper your grave
There’s no vindication, no buying off guilt
There’s no insulation in those mansions you built
Have lawyers harass me, have them right in my face
But the more I keep digging the deeper your grave
You can drag out the fight and try to bleed me dry
Completely cut off my water supply
Pour money down the drain to clean off your name
But the more I keep digging the deeper your grave
_______________________________________________________
Your Skin’s Not That Thick
In, you’re all in till you’re proven a fool
You’re foolish enough to feel invincible
But all that bravado, it just doesn’t fit
We all know that your skin’s not that thick
Round one and you’re done, all your hopes quickly dashed
You can’t take a punch and your jaw’s made of glass
Now all of those jabs are starting to stick
And you bruise cause your skin’s not that thick
Out, you’re tapped out, you’re withdrawn to the bone
You throw in the towel as you sit there alone
You soon realize that you’re too delicate
And you bruise, no your skin’s not that thick
You’re suddenly so defenseless, suddenly so defenseless…
_______________________________________________________
The Ballad of John and Jane
Jane’s first husband disappeared late 1974
And when they couldn’t serve him papers the judge granted her divorce
When they finally found his body nearly forty years had passed
A .22 slug right in his head, forty feet down a mine shaft
She said she did it, she did it all for love
She admitted she did it all for love
She showed little guilt for the man that she killed when police finally did bring her in
When they read her rights, she started to cry and said “I’ll never see John again”
John was waiting at the cabin when his wife brought him a gun
He said he’d take the kids out hunting, he shot her and her two sons
John had no reservations when he made that pact with Jane
As soon as they hid the bodies, they moved a thousand miles away
He said he did, he did it all for love
He admitted he did it all for love
When he took the stand, this cold blooded man was more than eager to talk
He said he’s just guilty of being in love and only regrets getting caught
They did it, they did it all for love
They admitted they did it all for love
_______________________________________________________
This Town
This town can suck you in
It’s too easy. It’s too easy
The walls built in are towering
There’s no easy escape
It’s not hard to convince yourself
It’s temporary, it’s temporary
Stash yourself on the bottom shelf
Tomorrow can always wait
You’ve painfully grown out of this place
So painfully grown out of this place
You’re derailed in this transient town
Decelerating, decelerating
It’s not roadblocks that keep you bound
To these lonely avenues
That hesitation in your head
Is just a u-turn, it’s just a u-turn
Back to where you were born and bred
That’s no panoramic view
You’ve painfully grown out of this place
So painfully grown out of this place
_______________________________________________________
Sleep
Don’t give in yet, just be patient dear
The storm will soon pass and the sky will clear
Surrender your thoughts, it’s time to forget
You need relief, you need to rest
Let go of the reigns and let yourself breathe
You need to laugh, you need to dream
You need to sleep
You need to sleep...
It’s been a long, long day, yeah but you survived
Take a deep breath and close those pretty eyes
Turn off the noise, it’s time to forget
You need relief, you need to rest
Let go of the reigns and let yourself breathe
You need to laugh, you need to dream
You need to sleep
You just need to sleep...
©2014
THE LAST OF THE PIN-UP GIRLS
(2012)
A stranger rides into town
I’m travelling light, nothing to weigh me down
I’m far, far away from home
I’m free to fly into this great unknown
I walk the streets and disappear
I can hide in plain sight, I’m anonymous here
I shaved my head right down to the skin
And even I don’t recognize exactly who I have been
I’m a stranger in this town
So far away from home
There’s nothing as free as being unknown
I went underground, I changed my full name
I unshackled myself and buried the chains
I rewrote the chapter, changed the title and tags
And hid the whole book in my overnight bag
Just Want to Disappear
Roll call, Awol, I'm sliding out of here
Keys in the ignition I kick it into gear
And I'm free and I'm flying
I just want to disappear
Crash dived, revived, killed another year
Found an exit sign, was the first to volunteer
And I'm free and I'm flying
I just want to disappear
Retread ahead Take no souvenirs
There's only white noise in my rear view mirror
So I'm fleeing, I'm flying
I just want to disappear
It may not last, it just may be fleeting
I might just crash into the ceiling
Manic, frantic, I'm in the stratosphere
I got a new set of wings and
I'm flying out of here
And I'm free and I'm flying
I just want to disappear
The Last of the Pin-Up Girls
She just lingers in the doorway
Running fingers through her bangs and curls
Million dollar legs like Betty Grable
She’s the last of the pin-up girls
She’s a hot mess, in a red vamp dress
She’s all kinds of wrong tonight
She’s a bombshell, casting a spell
That clings to her hips so, so tight
I can’t be no sugar daddy
Got no money for diamonds and pearls
I’m just content to sit and watch her
She’s the last of the pin-up girls
She’s Bettie Page, always onstage
Too impossible to ignore
Deliciously curved , arousing every nerve
She’s not the kind of girl you find next door
She should make ten million dollars
Be the most photographed women in the world
I ‘m happy to just sit here and watch her
She’s the last of the pin-up girls
Never Going Be One of Them
I’m damaged goods, Misunderstood
Yes I’m on the side of angels
but I ain’t ever gonna be one of them
Fallen from grace, Swimming with snakes
Yes I’m on the side of angels
but I ain’t ever gonna be one of them
That demon inside’s tellin me to sin
And I’ve given up tryin to fight him
That demon’s inside stringing me along
That demon inside gonna run me wrong
Have mercy please, The devil’s in me
Yes I’m on the side of angels
But I ain’t ever gonna be one of them
That demon’s on my shoulder talking in ear
And I eat up every word that I hear
That demon’s got a grip that’s mighty strong
That demon inside gonna run me wrong
Have mercy please, The devil’s in me
Yes I’m on the side of angels
But I ain’t ever gonna be one of them
Little Beat Sweetener
Shout, I want to hear you shout
Loud enough to drown everything out
Howl, I want to hear you howl
Loud enough to resonate for miles
Darling we’re the bottom feeders
The lost causes; the non-believers
But if you wanna be the drum leader
Then I wanna be your little beat sweetener
Scream, I want to hear you scream
Loud enough for mayhem in the streets
Noise, you need to make some noise
Loud enough to give us all a voice
Yell, get everyone to yell
Loud enough that we can hear ourselves
Loud, you’ve gotta make this loud
Loud enough to incite this whole crow
In the Dollhouse Mirror
A porcelain doll
Skin so perfectly pale
All delicate and grace
Down to the last detail
Yet her marble glass eyes never shed a tear
As she blankly stares into the dollhouse mirror
A rag tag doll
In patchwork clothes
Sleeps in a different bed
Everywhere she goes
Her soft cloth skin that was once held so dear
Is now raggedy ann in the dollhouse mirror
A paper doll
Cut from a paper mold
Just listen to her talk
She’s one dimensional
She claims that she’s been hand painted but it’s so perfectly clear
She’s lifeless and flat in the dollhouse mirror
A voodoo doll
At some point she was scorned
Now she’s vindictive
Everyone be warned
That in her vampire nights, she’s quick to disappear
And you can’t find her reflection in the dollhouse mirror
A Russian doll
In a sarafan dress
Turn her two ways
She comes apart at the chest
Strip away her layers and you strip away her years
Until there’s a baby doll in the dollhouse mirror
Discount Cigarettes and Gasoline
Signposts and tombstones on both sides of the road
What’s this highway telling me?
With large billboard ads for road kill cuisine
Discount cigarettes and gasoline
A thousand foot ravine to my starboard side
And no guardrails to intervene
A white knuckle ride strung out on caffeine,
Discount cigarettes and gasoline
Seven bugs and counting on my windscreen
Crashing like kamikazes
They’re heavily armed and aiming for me
With discount cigarettes and gasoline
It’s my third or fourth day on this highway
I’m the latest casualty
With the flying insects, the road kill cuisine,
The discount cigarettes and gasoline
Lost in Fluorescence
Lost in fluorescence in the middle of the night
Stripped to my essence in truck stop diner lights
I walk through the entrance and everything feels too bright
Lost in fluorescence in the middle of the night
I’m greeted by a sign that says “please seat yourself”
And vinyl upholstery holding cartoon clientele
I hide in the menu so no one can stare through me
Lost in fluorescence and trying not to be seen
A lone faded waitress is making quick work of
Half empty plates and ten ounce coffee cups
I feel like I‘m frozen inside a Norman Rockwell
Lost in fluorescence trapped in a countertop hell
I’ve been stripped to my essence in truck stop diner lights
They glare with a vengeance, there not at all polite
I look for the exit hoping it will be all right
Lost in fluorescence in the middle of the night
Live Dangerously
Light’s piercing through the holes in the blinds
I wake from a deep sleep with sun in my eyes
I lay in the bed, my body feels old
It takes all my strength just to get vertical
I sit up in bed, throw my legs overboard
It’s a free fall till my feet find the floor
My eyes still a blur, my body exhumed
I stumble as I make my way across the room
Gotta hold out, Gotta hold on
Gotta hold my own, Gotta hold up all day long
Gotta get out, I just gotta see
What it’s like to get up and live more dangerously
A razor drags down the side of my face
My cheekbone exposed and all pretense erased
I throw on a shirt, ignore all routine
I walk out the door with the world facing me
Working Class Heroine
She’s still a girl, she’s barely twenty two
She’s all alone and a mother of two
She grew up much too fast
Daddy left, he wasn’t built to last
Six AM, she’s already out the door
Got a to pay for things that she can’t afford
Works two jobs, six days a week
Inventing ways to make ends meet
Wonder woman and Supergirl
Weren’t single mothers
Raising kids in this world
She’s running on adrenaline
There’s no super hero
Just a working class heroine
She bends but she never breaks
When child support’s more than two weeks late
When dead beat dad’s a “self centered jerk”
and there’s no sitter and she’s late for work
When babies cry on shoulders through the night
And she faces another day sleep deprived
When she feels overwhelmed
By the stress of doing it all herself
Taillights and Pale Whites
Driving west into sunset
The sun is in my eyes. It’s blinding, it’s blinding
Imprints fade with the last rays
As sun falls below the horizon my eyes spin,
My eyes spin
Battles lines were left behind
I drove to get the miles between me, between me
But battle scars, stay in the car
On the last exit to somewhere and I’m not there,
No I’m not there
I lag behind my racing mind
My ghosts never seem to haunt me, they just taunt me
Nowhere bound and I’m drowned
In red wash stream of taillights and pale whites
In red wash stream of taillights and pale whites
In the Funhouse Mirror
You can’t stand still for a portrait
Your face is never clear
You’re shifting shapes like a politician
In a fun house mirror
You’re loud and vain in your campaign
That smile reeks insincere
You only hope your smile lines don’t show
In the fun house mirror
You try to fix all heretics
You want to be revered
But you can’t see hypocrisy
In the funhouse mirror
Like a shark you can’t stop moving
It’s your greatest fear
That if you stop we’ll see your portrait
In the fun house mirror
A Stranger Rides Out of Town
I thought I knew where I was running
I had a picture in my head all made up like a bed
But I woke up on the wrong side of the ocean
Longing for everything that I had fled
I’m flying home back east
While I am still in one piece
My welcome worn, my day is down
A stranger rides out of town
I thought all I needed was a change of venue
But I didn’t even bother to unpack
Cause I’m still being stalked by my shadow
And I’m still running, it’s just I’m running back
LAX and I’m waiting for my exit
Everyone a stranger with the same strained smile
I watch a plane taxi down the runway
And my baggage taxi down the carousel
©2012
ALMOST SENTIMENTAL
(2011)
A finite world
I've got no plans
145 beats per minute
I'm dancing as fast as I can
Motion blur
No attention span
The never ending now crashes on me
I'm dancing as fast as I can
I'm rushing feet
An offbeat man
I barely even leave a footprint
I'm dancing as fast as I can
Fingerprints All Over Me
A black snake piercing through the night
And I'm chained to her tracks tied tight
I can't shake loose, I can't break free
Her fingerprints all over me
She speeds like the devil
to an awaiting crime scene
There's no weapon or motive,
just a locomotive
Her fingerprints all over me
She carves her tracks
Through the late night veneer
There's no switchman, there's no engineer
An iron horse in a dress
Darting for the damned soul in distress
Those rails expand and shrink like the tide
as she roars down the main line
She's got me baited, she's got me bound
She's got me tied tightly to the ground
I Can Feel You
Sometimes I swear you’re crawling on my skin
And I try like mad to peel you off again
You’re far, far behind me
You no longer define me
But I still feel you
I still got the bruises on my knees
Where I would genuflect to kiss your feet,
yeah I can feel ya
Sometimes I feel your fingers on my neck
Bending these strings and wearing down these frets
You’re far, far behind me
You no longer define me
But I still feel you
I still feel you running through my wrists
Right down my palms and directly to my fists
Yeah, I can feel you
Sometimes it gets a little hard to breathe
I try to exhale and you refuse to leave
You’re far, far behind me
You no longer define me
But I still feel you
Tell Me Something Pretty
Those pretty paper folds
Make your hands feel old
So you just cut and paste
Within our time constraints
And you want me to see something I can’t see
And want me to be someone that’s not me
I wish I could tell you something pretty
I guess there’s no reprise
Of those pretty lullabies
No one can hit those notes
While at each other’s throat
Just spitting secrets in each other’s ear
The kind of secrets you don’t want to hear
But unfortunately all too sincere
Tell me something, something pretty
Tell me something, something pretty
You’re dressed in pretty prose
That hang on you like clothes
But pull a tiny tread
And you’re undressed again
And I don’t know what language to use
To zip you back up and pull you through
How could I hang a word on you
Bridget Friday
She’s poorly penciled in and wall paper-thin
A stick of a figure cloaked in faux animal skin
Pixie white ankle boots, pixie cut angled hair
It takes a lot of money to look like she doesn’t care
Message clear, distortion free
Bridget Friday
Cat eye sunglasses in tortoise shell frames,
Her fingers dripping in gunmetal grey
She threads her long legs through a skinny black jean
She’s at least thirty two or just barely nineteen
Message clear, distortion free,
She’s the last thing that you need
She’s not real, not a human being
Bridget Friday
She’s in feathers and leathers, white tassels and lace
Plastic jewels on her rings, plastic charms on her chains
Black cake eyeliner that explodes at midnight
She’s like TV static, shining all black and white
Cheat Me Fair
Don't try to blind me, just try to find me.
You’ve already shoveled me in
And showed me around your hole underground
And broke down while breaking me in
I’m broke again
You’re inside outside, everywhere
You’re Jekyll and Hyde, I don’t care
Cause I ain’t going anywhere, just cheat me fair
I won’t try to mute you, just quickly dilute you
Keep only what’s necessary
I’m trying my best but you’re hard to digest
I know it can’t be that easy
For you or me
I won’t infuse you, it’d only confuse you
I don’t want to dull down your taste
I’m a obstinate man, both bitter and bland
Is there room for me there on your plate?
If not, I’ll wait
High Water Mark
This is high tide
It leaves a stranded line
of floating debris and those lost at sea,
Standing never was part of the plan
So I just keep on going and without even knowing
I’m overflowing the high water mark
This is the crest
The drunken success
The wave in full bloom, the most breathing room
But water cascades and everything drops
And without even knowing, I start overflowing
Overflowing the high water mark
This is the prize
The highest of highs
The adrenaline rush, my eyes can’t adjust
I’m so flushed that I have flooded the drain
And without even knowing, I have been overflowing
Overflowing the high water mark
Sweet Relief
I’m all aches and coughs
And I can’t shake them off
There’s rotten things inside me
I can’t come to terms
With the malicious bugs and germs
That rot the things inside me
Oh how I need relief, Sweet, sweet, relief
Oh God I need relief, Sweet, sweet, relief
It holes up in my lungs
And flows right off my tongue
There’s rotten things inside me
I breath in stagnant air
There’s nothing fresh there to repair the
Rotten things inside me
Oh God am I’m diseased? I need sweet, sweet, relief
I just want to feel a breeze, Any kind of sweet relief
It as stealth as a thief
Then holds you hostage and never leaves
I haven’t showered in days
But no shower could wash away the
Rotten things inside me
Hello Monday
Monday, hello Monday
Yes we meet again
Tell me where did the time go?
I think I may have lost the weekend
People, I’m better right now at a distance; I know that I’m not better up close
And yes that is why I only say “hello”
Hello, hello, my Monday hello
Get me two cups of coffee
Maybe they will pull me through
I’ll pretend that I’m busy
That’s what normal people do
My moods change with the caffeine but 5 PM seems like tomorrow to me
I shake and bite my nails; I should probably switch to tea
Hello, hello, hello Monday
Is it time yet for a smoke break?
I know that I should probably quit
But they’re my sanctuary
More than I would like to admit
Yes they break up the madness of doing nothing that I really want to
Ahh that first drag, how I’ve missed you
Hello, hello my Monday blues
A roller coaster day, I’m on edge and then hit low
Into another caffeine crash with 4 hours to go
So I worked straight through lunch so
I could leave around four thirty
But now there’s some sort of meeting
Boss man says, “no one gets to leave early”
So please god, if you’re listening, schedule the apocalypse for today
I’m hungry and tired; it’s only Monday
Hello, hello, hello Monday
Stitch by Stitch
Needles and pins Cushioned to my wrist
Pattern outlines Pinned down designs
I've been staring at you for what seems like miles
I know just how you walk, your pace, your style
I've been thinking of fabrics and fine threads
Looking for perfect parts for a perfect dress
Stitch by stitch by stitch
I'll make you a perfect fit
Stitch by stitch by stitch
And maybe someday you'll wear it for me
Ribbon lace trim Dangling off your limbs
Tea length hemlines I'm guessing your size
I've been following you for what seems like days
I know just how your body turns and sways
I'll manufacture each and every piece
Even assemble it right there at your feet
Keyhole buttonholes
In black/white, stripped wool
Overcast seams
Chasing daydreams
I've been shadowing you without regret
As I decorate your silhouette
Yes I'll smooth out each and every crease
If you promise to turn around for me
Mortar and Bricks
We’re all boxed in now
Neatly stapled and pinned now
We’re crawling in our skin now
With no exit signs
Pushed up against the wall now
We’re nowhere near the ball now
No identity at all now
With no doors in sight
There’s just bricked up windows, that’s the easiest fix
Look out the window, all you see is mortar and bricks
No time to convalesce now
All our dreams are repossessed now
We’re working more to make less now
Now that I’ve been downsized
No tomorrow to pursue now
Cause we’ve got payments overdue now
They own me and they own you now
Worth more dead than alive
It’s all bricked up windows, that’s the easiest fix
Look out the window, all you see is mortar and bricks
All the factories shut down now
And there’s no one here around now
The city’s a ghost town now
You’ve got to scratch to survive
Ten After Eight
I’m evaporating
Been waiting here since eight o clock
Did you forget about me?
You didn’t leave the door unlocked
Seconds seem like hours
The anticipation’s killing me
I miss you so badly
But maybe you aren’t missing me
Then without hesitating
I see your headlights racing down the block
You’re so, so persuading
When you open your pretty mouth and talk
You’re so apologetic
About ruining a few minutes late
Then I look at my watch
And realize it’s only ten after eight
My Own Millionaire
I run my hands down my neck
My calluses cut into
These strings that get so corroded
They barely stay in tune
You can smell the tubes bleeding
They wrap me up in their blues
Like a sonic wallpaper
With melodies piercing through
I never clicked with the real world
Or society at large
Every one of my heroes
All played rhythm guitar
Someone turn up the kick drum
Let’s feel those footsteps crunch
Plug me into the downbeat
We resonate like a punch
But I'm the last one to notice
Because I'm floating on air
I'm in my own little world here
Where I'm my own millionaire
I’m up where no one can hurt me
Right between the kick and the snare
I’m in my own little world here
Where I’m my own millionaire
Too Much to Dream Off
I think that I have had too much to dream off
I toss and I turn and I wake up in mid cough
I want to stay up; this is nothing to sleep off
But I can’t stay awake and I carelessly drift off
There’s sleep in my eyes; first drifting and gentle
I almost feel safe, almost sentimental
But the lull is a lie; the stillness on rental
The dreams come alive; the silence judgmental
There’s calm between dreams but it’s so intermittent
Like a new lease on life but two days to live it
And I can’t stay awake long enough to live in it
Cause a storm comes to life and takes me right with it
©2011
ONE NIGHT BLAND
(2009)
You're back down on the bathroom floor
Looking for a ragbag silver lining
You find new ways to heedlessly misread memories
That were not worth finding
You're helpless, helpless; you're cut and exposed
You're dancing with some stranger and holding him so close
Yeah you're helpless, helpless and misdiagnosed
You're all inside your head and won't give up the ghost
You're so hopelessly helpless
You're looking for a little piece of mind
That you won't find in a church or a bar
I watch you drink away at your salivation
On both sides of the boulevard
Endless hours where you grab
And pick at the scabs in once haunted rooms
The floor's covered with souvenirs
From all years of reopened wounds
Some Other Planet
Some other planet, some other lifetime
Anywhere else but right now
But knowing us we'd find a way to
Mess it all up somehow
Another sunrise suicide
Some other moment, some different lighting
It might just make sense some other time
I'll steal someone's daydream, put it my pocket
And pawn it off like it was mine
Another sunrise suicide
Some other planet, some other lifetime
Some other ending to try on for size
Some other morning where I sleep soundly
And wake up knowing I survived
Another sunrise suicide
Six More Rounds
I tossed my dirty laundry in the trash to die
You shot it up full of holes and brought it back inside
The target's in place, so fire away
With six more rounds of indifference
You found a stray bullet in your left front pocket
And sent a warning shot straight into the closet
No one's sleeping in, wake up the skeletons
With six more rounds of indifference
I'm on a tightrope dangling with two left feet
A still clay pigeon with bull eyes taped to me
The target's in place, so fire away
With six more rounds of indifference
Now I'm running with cinderblocks tied to my feet
You're wide of your mark and point blank range from me
I completely forgot that you're a bad shot
Give me six more rounds of indifference
This glass is half empty and half broken in
You're a chamber half full roulette romantic
Take your best aim; it's your stupid game
Give me six more rounds of indifference
You're armed, trigger happy and ready to go
But you're wagging a war that was lost long ago
Fire into the crowd and make it real loud
With six more rounds of indifference
Shoot me up in this bed and wake me up when I'm dead
With six more rounds of indifference
Swimming Again
I try to keep it to a gentle rain.
No one likes a flood or a drought when in doubt
I try to keep it to steady buzz
I gotta find my own plateau, not too high or too low
But then I blink for a second and I start swimming
Almost content for a second and then I start swimming
Almost myself, whatever that means, then I start swimming
I heard her voice; it pulled me under
Then I start swimming again
I try to keep it in the present tense
I can't live in the past, or the next, or the last
I try to keep it ambiguous
I don't have much to say, I look good wearing gray
I try to keep it in a lower case
I don't want to stand out; I'm polite, I don't shout
I try to keep it to a gentle rain.
No one likes a flood or a drought when in doubt
Tilt-a-Whirl
A tilted man looks for his car on the tilt a whirl
He's waited all day for the tilt a whirl
A jilted girl sits next to him on the tilt a whirl
They settle in on the tilt a whirl
They start in orbit, accelerating on the tilt a whirl
Their heads are spinning like a tilt a whirl
Random motion, near collisions on the tilt a whirl
They're just like kids on a tilt a whirl
They start to sway; they start to spin
Gravity's pushing further in
They're side by side on this ride
Holding on for dear life
In this tilted world...on a tilt a whirl
Their hands are locked, floating on air in the tilt of whirl
They can't stop smiling on this tilt a whirl
They're getting lost, in the moment on the tilt a whirl
No hesitation on the tilt a whirl
Every last second of every moment on the tilt a whirl
They spent a lifetime on this tilt a whirl
Going Going Gone
Tomorrow's better at a distance
I'll walk out the path of least resistance
I'll seal the borders and bury the keys
You can try all you want but you're no master thief
I'm temporarily temporary
I'm not for long, I'm going, going, gone
Nothing's for long, nothing's for free
So please don't expect to wake and find me
Thanks for the floor cause god only knows
Where I'll wake tomorrow in yesterdays' clothes
I'm temporarily temporary
I'm not for long, I'm going, going, gone
Stare all you want but you can't read my eyes
It's not you at fault, It's me, big surprise
A lost fugitive; a transient thief
I'm running from you but stealing from me
I'm temporarily temporary
I'm not for long, I'm going, going, gone
Seven Minutes
You're half a world away and this is total frustration
That kind of comment only invites an invitation
Yes I'm a million miles away but I'm not nonexistent
And if you have seven minutes we can lesson the distance
You're in my ear right next to me, the words drip off your lips
You put my hand on your thigh to feel my fingertips
There's friction on the line; you can hear the tension
We're tainting all the sheets with the best of intentions
There's static in my ear and I'm almost interrupted
But I can feel it in my legs I'm so close to corrupted
We act on every instinct, every last impulse
And those thoughts becomes words that resonate and pulse
Ah, come for me, come in for me, come in loud and clear
That's the only thing right now that I want to hear
Wham-bam, god damn, what a perfect hello
If I don't make it back tomorrow, call me back on this phone
One minute I'm lost
two minutes I'm charmed
three minutes immersed
Four minutes I'm armed
five minutes we're close
six minutes exposed.we're seven minute closer
Be Still My Bleeding Heart
Come back here be still my bleeding heart
Cause I can't wrestle one coherent thought
Right next to me, Lights off please
I'm saving up my dignity
Come back here be still my bleeding heart
You know that i think the world of you girl
But you also know what I think of the world
I didn't sell out, i just bought in
Before it all washes out and starts to spin
You know that i think the world of you girl
I can't afford to get where I belong
Everything costs twice as much and takes twice as long
The thought of you makes me believe
That I should beg, borrow and thieve
Cause I can't afford to get where I belong
Please be still my bleeding heart
Come back here I'm pleading, pleading
Come back here I'm pleading, pleading
Come back here be still bleeding heart
Come back here be still my bleeding heart
I'm waiting here maxed out and question marked
I'm deep in debt; deep in confusion
And unresolved resolutions
So come back here be still my bleeding heart
All of the Above
It's like you mock the silence for being sober,
When you trip on words; conversation over
And over again, it's pure nonsense; you look credible claiming ignorance
Like a badly bound paperback, in the discount fiction, on the bottom rack
Feeding trinkets of air and a bleached blonde ending,
That somehow feels so condescending
And you want all the attention
All the little boys and their affection
You want all the laughter and all the love
All you need is all the above
You ask me how I am just to hear your voice
And then indulge yourself to make some point
About the content of my daily life as you pezz-dispense sterile advice
Long-winded useless information that you preach above your congregation
From the pulpit there's a better view of how every little thing pertains to you
You're the first sinner, the first to be saved
The bride at the wedding; the corpse at the grave
You want money, sex, power and love
And all you need is all the above
You'll try anything twice if someone's watching
And act naive before start launching
Into forced faked smiles and rehearsed phrases,
I know what you'll say before you say it
It's all right there, right off the script,
From the Mae West lines to bad Freudian slips
You make me nostalgic for the now, you cry wolf and then take a bow
Self-love is the all-natural opiate
But you never learned how to cope with it
You, it's all you're thinking off
And all you need is all the above
My Goodnite Friend
Say goodnight to the morning, sleep well my goodnite friend
We stole the moon, your now sleeping, or at least trying to pretend
I'll follow my own private hallway right back to where it should end
Civility went out the window, so goodnight my goodnite friend
My eye sockets are burning but I'm freezing as I close the door
I throw my coat over my head; anything to stay warm
It's so fun to act like your young, but now I feel so wired and worn
I walk out of a tempest into another imperfect storm
I think I've reached the point where my two worlds feel the same
What was once my comfort, is now driving me insane
I used to love all the madness and would follow it right down the drain
But my goodnight friend is sleeping and my daylight's filled with rain
It was feeling kind of crowded underneath those mourning sheets
Now that I'm out amongst people, I feel as lonely as I could ever be
There's melodies in this rainstorm but no sense in chasing them down the street
Cause I'll follow a train of thought and it leads back to your feet
Say goodnight my goodnite friend
I'm Gonna Learn You How
I'm going to get wise now
Then I'm going to learn you how
We'll run and hide from a hundred lies.run and hide
I'm too old too be young
But I'm having twice the fun
I'll answer all your rhetorical questions .just ask me
If this was that easy, you could teach me
We've faked it up to now
I'm going to learn you how
You're too young to be old
So you set and broke the mold
You've got so much lies ahead of you.you do.yes you do
If this was that easy, you could teach me
We've made it up to now
I'm going to learn you how
I come and tag you along
And we make it up as we go along
And we'll survive this diatribe.if we ever stop talking.
If this was that easy, you could teach me
We've messed it up to now
I'm going to learn you how
The Ceiling Staring Back
I woke up screaming
I must have been dreaming
Why I was dreaming, I just don't know
I'm so bored and manic
Monochromatic
I'm all the shades not in the rainbow
At xanax speed
A walking parody
Under my tongue till it all dissolves
I've got no patience
And made realizations
That I'm better off left uninvolved
I can't relate; I can't react
And I look up to a ceiling staring back
I've made no imprints
On my bed of indifference
I live in fear; I don't live in faith
So I withdraw
It's my own default,
Give me my two inches of personal space
I've lost control
I'm despicable
Give me anything that makes any sense
Give me one true sentence
And I'll make repentance
I'll take on the world at my own expense
Give me one true sentence
While I'm defenseless
Or give me my ten milligrams of loneliness
So Much Nothing To Do
Quarter to three and I'm bored to tears
I've just poured myself another beer
I've been trying all night not to think of you
But I've got so much nothing to do
3:25 and I'm out of my head
Just one more drink then I'm off to bed
There's so many things that I want to sleep through
Because I've got so much nothing to do
4:18 but who's counting time
I just can't get you out of my mind
Four hours sleep then I'll be fine
As long as I'm out the door by nine
4:48, insomniac
I feel like I'm having a heart attack
I've been all around my head in a bed for two
Because I've got so much nothing to do
Half past 6 and I think I'm lost
I'm smoking in a tinderbox
I'm using the bed as my ashtray
I keep reminding myself that I'm ok
It's almost 8 and I'm burned out
I guess I'll have to go without
I've been stranded in bed just thinking of you
Because I've got so much nothing to do
The clock says zero, time for me to go
I set that alarm two weeks ago
I've been out the door, I've been running late
I have plenty of time to just hesitate
A two week stretch, just paranoid
Something has to fill the void
Another day in bed just thinking of you
Because I've got so much nothing to do
©2009